Feeling alone

Today was just another hot lonely day. I went to work sick and had to suck it up till noon. I'm not sure why I woke up so sick. I never wake up sick. Anyways. I'm going to try getting on my Suboxones this weekend, but that means I'm going to have to suck it up and be sick for 2 days. I just hope I'm able to go throw with it this time. Every time I try I just end up feeling sick, I'm not sure if I'm taking the meds right.  I'm following the docs instructions but maybe I need more or maybe less. Maybe It take a few days to work, I'm not sure. I've been wasting to much money and my wife is starting to question about how much I'm getting paid. Cause the money is going so quick. I really need to get it together. GOD PLEASE HELP ME! I'm so afraid of losing my family. I can not fail them. They are all I have. With out them I am nothing. I would rather die.