Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Thinking Thinking Thinking
Last night my wife and I argued over the phone about all the wrong I have done in the years we've been together. Lately that's all I've been hearing. I meet my wife 10 years ago, the most beautiful, intelligent woman. Wow. She blow my mine, the thing is I still feel all those things for her. I try so hard. I work everyday as an Ironworker traveling all over the place to provide for them. It's been four years since I've been working on getting back on my feet. I've Furnished my hole house, with brand-new furniture. I have a brand new truck. But before that was hell. I know it was. We've always have had our own place. Never have I had my family living in the street or under a bridge. We didn't always have food but I did my best as an addict to provid. BUT. I love my wife with all my heart, it hurts so much to hear all those things that come from her. It really does rip me apart. It makes me feel worthless.
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Wow Bee, I just read your first 3 posts.. this is scarey stuff! is it for real? its very frightening for you to live in fear ... fear of those evil ones, and fear of your children finding out ... its very hard for you, but its also very very hard to stop this drug ... Man, if anyone could stop, I could, for my kids at least ... but no, I cant. They dont see me as a loser though Bee, I have brought them up alone and provided for them, loved them and made them feel secure and worthy of a good normal life, which I didn't have. And so have you for yours. They must not think you are a loser, neither should your wife ... you are a decent hard working man with the illness of addiction.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a very lonely situation for you to be in, are there any N/A meetings there?
Please keep coming here and writing and reading other Blogs. I find its the only way I connect with people most of the time. Addiction is a lonely place as you know.
Take care of you and your family Bee and keep writing x
Hi bugerlugs unfortunately it is true. It's so hard to live as an H addict in Nuevo Laredo Mexcio. I try not to go home much cause I'm afraid maybe I'm putting my family in danger. My paranoia is to an extreme. See I live in territorial of the cartel Zettas and they don't like H. They sell they thing else but that. So if your doing H that means your buying from there enemies and that makes you the enemy.
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